January 2009
i’m slowly starting to understand why i am so unhappy.
Partly it’s because of you. It’s not anything you do or say. It’s you. You’re perfect and i can never be with you. It will never work out. I will never get back what we had and it kills me and tears me up inside. I will never find someone like you and i force myself to not love any other because of you. Every...
it’s amazing how music can be the soundtrack to my feelings. it’s the only way i really know how i feel.
at least i know there is something out there that can make me feel okay when i know i am not.
right now i feel like bedhead- “What’s missing”
i’ll keep that as a mental note i guess. i guess i’ll stay in Florida. i guess. i wish i didn’t...
holy fuck. It’s a downward fucking spiral. What the Fuck am i doing with myself and who the fuck do I think i am. I hate me.
this feeling called love is both a blessing and a curse.
i just don’t know which is worse.
“he said that i talk about all these great times ive had but im sure that at the moment i didnt think of them as being the greatest times of my life and i wasnt thinking that oh my im gonna remember this as being wonderful and that good stuff is going on and good times are happening, but im not cherishing them or storing them in my memory box because i dont know whats to come when the time...
i feel so not myself. More than ever.
i’m watching myself go through the motions but my mind is someplace else.
Wish i could find it.
